目录英语绘本《龟兔赛跑》 3到5分钟英语趣味小故事 六年级英语小短文带翻译故事 六年级的优秀英语故事带翻译 英语故事《丑小鸭》
ne day, he was having a meal in a small country hotel and wanted to order some eggs. But he couldn't remember the word for eggs.
Suddenly, through the window, he saw a rooster walking in the yard. He immediately asked the waiter what the bird was called in English. The waiter told him that it was called a rooster.
The Frenchman then asked what the rooster's wife was called. The waiter told him that she was called a hen.
The Frenchman then asked what the hen's children were called. The waiter told him that they were chickens.
The Frenchman then asked what the chickens were called before they were born.
The waiter told him they were called eggs.
"Fine!" said the Frenchman. "Please bring me two eggs and a cup of coffee.
The City Mouce And The Country Mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住纤岁在城里。很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说:“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是,城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说:“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来:“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿,他们出来了。当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说:“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽散竖罩然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些。”
Almost any situation---good or bad ---is affected by the attitude we bring to. (Lucius Annaus Seneca, Ancient Roman philosopher)
差不多任何一种处境——无论是好是坏——都受到我们对待处境的态度的影响。(古罗马哲学家 西尼加 L A)
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. (Hellen Keller, American writer)
虽然世界多苦难冲闹，但是苦难总是能战胜的(美国作家 海伦·凯勒)
As fruit needs not only sunshine but cold nights and chilling showers to ripen it, so character needs not only joy but trial and difficulty to mellow it. (Hugh Black, American writer)
水果不仅需要阳光，也需要凉夜。寒冷的雨水能使其成熟。人的性格陶冶不仅需要欢乐，也需要考验和困难。(美国作家 布莱克 H)
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the freedom to choose his attitude in any given set of circumstances. (Leonhard Frand , German novelist)
我可以拿走人的任何东西，但有一样东西不行，这就是在特定环境下选择自己的生活态度的自由。(德国家 弗兰克 L)
Every tragedy makes heroes of common people. (Normna Stephens, American writer)
每场悲剧都会在平凡的人中造就出英雄来。(美国作家 斯蒂芬斯 N)
He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be. (F.C.Comford, British writer)
自己甘愿受辱的人，受污辱也活该。(英国作家 科福德 F C)
I find life an exciting business and most exciting when it is lived for others. (Helen Keller,Ameican writer)
我发现生活是令人激动的事情，尤其是为别人活着时。(美国作家 海伦·凯勒)
I wept when I was born, and every day shows why.(Jack London, American novelist)
我一生下来就开始哭泣，而每一天都表明我哭泣的原因。(美国家 杰克·伦敦)
If you want to live your whole life free from pain
如果你想一生摆脱苦难
You must become either a god or else a coupes
你就得是神或者是死尸
Consider other men's troubles
想想他人的不幸
That will comfort yours
你就能坦然面对人生
Menander, Ancient Athenian playwriter
古雅典剧作家 米南德
In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. (George Bernad Shaw, British dramastist)
对于害怕危险的人，这个世界上总是 危险的。(英国剧作家 肖伯纳 G)
It is not true suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive. (William Somerset Maugham, British novelist)
说苦难能使人格得到升华，这是不确切的；幸福有时倒能做到这一点，而苦难常会使人心胸狭窄，产生复仇的心理。(英国家 毛姆 W S)
Let us suggest to the person in crisis that he cease concentrating so upon the dangers involved and the difficultie，and concentrate instead upon the opptunity---for there is always opportunity in crisis. (Seebohm Caroline, British physician)
让我们建议处在危机之中的人：不要把精力如此集中地放在所涉入的危险和困难上，相反而要集中在机会上——因为危机中总是存在着机会。(英国医生 卡罗琳 S)
Light troubles speak; great troubles keep silent. (Lucius Annaeus Seneneca, Ancient Roman Philosopher)
小困难，大声叫嚷；大困难，闷声不响。(古罗马哲学家 尼加 L A)
Mishaps are like knives that either serve us or cut us as we grasp them by the handle or blade.(James Russell Lowell, American poetess and critic)
灾难就像刀子，握住刀柄就可以为我们服务，拿住刀刃则会割破手。(美国女诗人、批评家 洛威尔 J R)
No one can degrade us except ourselves; that if we are worthy, no influence can defeat us. (B.T.Washington, American educator)
除了我们自己以外，没有人能贬低我们。如果我们坚强，就没有什么不良影响能够打败我们。(美国教育家 华盛顿 B T)
No pain , no palm; no thorns , no throne ; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. (William Penn, British admiral)
没有播种，何来收获；没有辛劳，何来成功；没有磨难，何来荣耀；没有挫折，何来辉煌。(英国海军上将 佩恩 W)
Optimists always picture themselves accomplishing their goals. (Lucius Anaeus Seneca, Ancient Roman philosopher)
乐观主义者总是想象自己实现了目标的情景。(古罗马哲学家 西尼加 L A)
Perhaps you can't control your job, but you may be able to make other changes in your life. (Alan Loy Mcginnis ,British writer)
或许你不能支配自己的工作，但你能够使生活发生转变。(英国作家 麦金尼斯 A L)
Prosperity doth best discover vice, but adversity doth discover virtue.
顺境时显现恶习，逆境时凸现美德
Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation. (John Kennedy, American president)
从希望中得到欢乐，在苦难中保持坚韧。(美国总统 肯尼迪 J)
Sweet are the uses of adversity.(William Shakspeare,British Playwriter)
苦尽甘来。(英国剧作家 莎士比亚 W)
The chinese word for crisis is divided into two characters, one meaning danger and the other meaning opportunity. (Burejer, British writer)
中文的“危机”分为两个字，一个意味着危险，另外一个意味着机会。(英国作家 布瑞杰)
The misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.(James Russell Lowell, American Poetess and critic)
最难忍受的不幸是那些从未来临的不幸。(美国女诗人、评论家 洛威尔 J R)
The more you fight something, the more anxious you become ---the more you're involved in a bad pattern, the more difficult it is to escape. (Seebohm Caroline, British Physician)
你越是为了解决问题而拼斗，你就越变得急躁——在错误的思路中陷得越深，也越难摆脱痛苦。(英国医生 卡罗琳 S)
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but what they miss. (Thomas Carlyle, British essayist and historian)
生活的悲剧不在于人们受到多少苦，而在于人们错过了什么。(英国散文家、历史学家 卡莱尔 T)
The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me. (Miguel de Cervantes, Spanish writer)
对于过去不幸的记忆，构成了新不幸。(西班牙作家 塞万提斯 M)
Tough--minded optimists approach problems with a can-do philosophy and emerge stronger from tragedies. (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Ancient Roman Philosopher)
意志坚强的乐观主义者用“世上无难事”人生观来思考问题，越是遭受悲剧打击，越是表现得坚强。(古罗马哲学家 西尼加 L A)
Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.(H.J.Kaier, American businessman)
困难只是穿上工作服的机遇。(美国实业家 凯泽 H J)
We have all sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others. (La Rochefoucauld, French writer)
我们都有足够的力量来忍受别人的不幸。(法国作家 拉罗什富科)
We shall defend ourselves to the last breath of man and beast. (William II, King of England)
只要一息尚存，我们就要为保卫自己而战。(英国皇帝 威廉二世)
Thoughts in the Silent Night --- Li Bai
Beside my bed a pool of light---
Is it hoarfrost on the ground?
I lift my eyes and see the moon,
I bend my head and think of home.静 夜 思 - 李 白
床 前 明 月 光 ，
疑 是 地 上 霜 。
举 头 望 明 月 ，
低 头 思 故 乡 。
Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquanintance be forgot，
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot，
And days of auld long syne?
And here's a hand,my trusty frien'
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet.
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
友谊地久天长
怎能忘记旧日朋友
心中能不怀念？
旧日朋友怎能相忘，
友谊地久天长。
我们往日情意相投，
让我们紧握手，
让我们举杯痛饮，
友谊地久天长。
友情常在我心，
亲密的朋友
举杯痛饮，
同声歌唱友谊地久天长。
少儿英语小故事--猴子捞月(中英文对照)
One day,a little monkey is playing by the well.
一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts :
它往井里一瞧，高喊道：
“Oh!My god!The moon has fallen into the well!”
“噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦笑册！”
An older monkeys runs over, takes a look,and says,
一只大猴子跑来一看，说，
“Goodness me!The moon is really in the water!”
“糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！”
And olderly monkey comes over.
老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
他也非常惊奇，喊道：
“The moon is in the well.”
“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！升升则”
A group of monkeys run over to the well .
一群猴子跑到井边来，
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：
“The moon did fall into the well!Come on!Let’get it out!”
“月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！”
Then,the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch .
然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，
And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands.
拉住大猴子的脚，
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
其他的猴子一个个跟着，
And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon,the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky,
正好他们摸到月亮的时候，吵棚老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢
He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!The moon is still in the sky!”
它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”
The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.
Zeal should not outrun discretion.
有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画知锋型板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。
这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身基磨遭不幸。
The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
Change of habit cannot alter Nature.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
这故事是说，人的本性不会随着生活方式的改变而改变。
The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人
A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent."
Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.
很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西，单独落在后面。牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去，正巧打断搭猜了山羊的一只角。牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人， 山羊说：“即使我不说，又怎能隐瞒下去呢？我的角已断了，这是十分明显的事实。”
这故事说明，明显的罪状是无法隐瞒的。
The Miser守财奴
A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it."
有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产，换回了金块，并秘密地埋在一个地方。他每天走去看 看他的宝藏。有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察，知道了真情，趁他走后，挖出金块拿走了。 守财奴再来时，发现洞中的金块没有了，便捶胸痛哭。有个人见他如此悲痛，问明原因后， 说道：“喂，朋友，别再难过了，那块金子虽是你买来的，但并不是你真正拥有的。去拿一 块石头来，代替金块放在洞里，只要你心里想着那是块金子，你就会很高兴。这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同。依我之见，你拥有那金块时，也从没用过。”
这故事说明，一切财物如不使用等于没有。
The Wolf and the Lamb 狼与小羊
WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him. He thus addressed him:"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf , "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me." Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations."
The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.
一只小羊在河边喝水，狼见到后，便想找一个名正言顺的借口吃掉他。于是他跑到上游，恶狠狠地说小羊把河水搅浑浊了，使他喝不到清水。小羊回答说，他仅仅站在河边喝水，并且又在下游，根本不可能把上游的水搅浑。狼见此计不成，又说道：“我父亲去年被你骂过。”小羊说，那时他还没有出生。狼对他说：“不管你怎样辩解，反正我不会放过 你。”
这说明，对恶人做任何正当的辩解也是无效的。
The Bat and the Weasels蝙蝠与黄鼠狼
A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second time escaped.
It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
蝙蝠掉落在地上，被黄鼠狼叼去，他请求饶命。黄鼠狼说绝不会放过他，自己生来痛恨鸟类。蝙蝠说他是老鼠，不是鸟，便被放了。后来蝙蝠又掉落了下来，被另一只黄鼠狼叼住，他再三请求不要吃他。这只黄鼠狼说他恨一切鼠类。蝙蝠改口说自己是鸟类，并非老 鼠，又被放了。这样，蝙蝠两次改变了自己的名字，终于死里逃生。
这故事说明，我们遇事要随机应变方能避免危险。
The Ass and the Grasshopper 驴子与蚱蜢
AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.
驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。
这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。
The Lion and the Mouse 狮子与报恩的老鼠
A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth and set him free, exclaiming:
"You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."
狮子睡着了，有只老鼠跳到了他身上。狮子猛然站起来，把他抓住，准备吃掉。老鼠请求饶命，并说如果保住性命，必将报恩，狮子轻蔑地笑了笑，便把他放走了。不久，狮子真的被老鼠救了性命。原来狮子被一个猎人抓获，并用绳索把他捆在一棵树上。老鼠听到了他 的哀嚎，走过去咬断绳索，放走了狮子，并说：
“你当时嘲笑我，不相信能得到我的报答， 现在可清楚了，老鼠也能报恩。” 这故事说明，时运交替变更，强者也会有需要弱者的时候。
Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth and says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公鸡
一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？濑户早妃”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时。公鸡跑到了树底下。
1.金鱼
Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2.Whose Father Was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说： “ 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。 ”
比尔不屑一顾： “ 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。 ”
3.I Need Your Football
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？ ”
4.Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃
Patient： 〃滑启then send the bill to my father，please.〃
医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。”
病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。”
5.我在谈一笔很大的生意
A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的圆让没，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“橘纳您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”
6. whats puberty(青春期) One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what's puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it.
A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children."
"What do you think of that?" my wife asked.
"I'm not sure," Peggy relied. "I've always been able to bear children. It's adults I can't bear.".
青春期
一天晚上，在准备晚饭的时候，我们十岁的女儿问：“妈妈，什么是青春期？”我的妻子此时正忙得不亦乐乎，所以她建议佩吉到字典上查这个词，然后她们可以再讨论它。
几分钟以后，佩吉回来了。她妈妈问字典上怎么说。
“青春期的意思是，”佩吉宣布：“一个女孩能忍受孩子的最早年龄。”
“你怎么想呢？”我妻子问。
“我不知道，”佩吉回答。“我总能忍受孩子。让我忍受不了的是大人。
Note: bear children: 生孩子。bear 一词也可作“忍受”讲。
7.The Swimmer
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
Johnny laughed.
"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.
"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."
游泳者
老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
约翰尼笑了。
老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？”
约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”
8.谁签署了独立宣言
A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He said, "Damn if I know."
She was a little put out(激怒) by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"
9.Why he couldn't leave?
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.
The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."
"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
10.Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。
"Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?"
“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？”
1.金鱼
Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2.Whose Father Was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说： “ 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。 ”
比尔不屑一顾： “ 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。 ”
3.I Need Your Football
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？ ”
4.Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃
Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father，please.〃
医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。”
病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。”
5.我在谈一笔很大的生意
A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”
6. whats puberty(青春期) One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what's puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it.
A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children."
"What do you think of that?" my wife asked.
"I'm not sure," Peggy relied. "I've always been able to bear children. It's adults I can't bear.".
青春期
一天晚上，在准备晚饭的时候，我们十岁的女儿问：“妈妈，什么是青春期？”我的妻子此时正忙得不亦乐乎，所以她建议佩吉到字典上查这个词，然后她们可以再讨论它。
几分钟以后，佩吉回来了。她妈妈问字典上怎么说。
“青春期的意思是，”佩吉宣布：“一个女孩能忍受孩子的最早年龄。”
“你怎么想呢？”我妻子问。
“我不知道，”佩吉回答。“我总能忍受孩子。让我忍受不了的是大人。
Note: bear children: 生孩子。bear 一词也可作“忍受”讲。
7.The Swimmer
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
Johnny laughed.
"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.
"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."
游泳者
老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
约翰尼笑了。
老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？”
约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”
8.谁签署了独立宣言
A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He said, "Damn if I know."
She was a little put out(激怒) by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"
9.Why he couldn't leave?
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.
The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."
"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
10.Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。
"Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?"
“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？”
